When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
