we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
