U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
