apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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