How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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