I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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