So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
