I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
