after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
