i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
