She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
