my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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