things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
