i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I want a musical about memes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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