I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
