So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
