We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
