he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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