He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
