I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
