Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How's work?
Spinning.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
