i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
