Its about making memories worth repressing
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
