made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She's the barista slut.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Rumble strips road head = magical
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
