sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
