I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
