i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
