Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
