return my video game
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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