I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
