all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
