the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
