Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
