My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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