Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
