Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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