It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
