you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
