sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
