I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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