it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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