wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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