dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
