your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She said her name was "party"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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