Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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