your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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