How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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