Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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