Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
