he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
