We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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