Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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