well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i think im in europe. pls send help
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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