I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
