Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
