yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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