he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
