So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
