i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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