haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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