In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
