i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
